TIME'S UP for Bad Behavior
Time’s UP for Bad Behavior 05 08 19
Most women do this well, myself included. We berate ourselves for putting up with love relationship partners when their behavior towards us is simply unacceptable. Why do we do this at all, let alone for the years and even decades we’ve tolerated the intolerable? I’m sure psychologists and doctors could give us a laundry list of sophisticated jargon to explain it, but if you’re reading my articles, you probably know I will get right to the bottom line.
We beat ourselves up for allowing others to mistreat us because we think we should have known better. How exactly we were to know any better is the real question. Most of us experienced parents who did not take action in the face of bad behavior either. Women especially are prone to give mighty attention to keeping the peace at all costs. I know this one from personal experience.
Now that we have the #metoo and #timesup movements, I hope we are all rising up to claim our dignity and worth in ways that empower and support us. Many of my clients have experienced partners/spouses behaving badly and just put up with it hoping things would change. Now that I’m on the other side of my personal toleration phase, I love helping other women to move beyond their personal nightmares.
But, here’s the thing – I can tell a woman how deserving and worthy of love she is, but until she believes in her own worthiness nothing will change. Shifting long standing beliefs is not for the faint of heart. It takes real courage to recognize a limiting belief and bravery to take steps in the direction of changing that belief. So here are a few things for you to consider:
Accept that every person is worthy of being treated with respect and that includes you.
Set healthy boundaries for your personal intimate relationship.
Stop being afraid to address unacceptable behavior firmly and respectfully.
Commit to walking away from love relationships that do not uplift and support you.
Know it is better to be alone than to be in a bad love relationship.
Get help when you need it to stay strong in your commitment to loving yourself too much to allow someone to treat you badly.
Stop beating yourself up for past mistakes – no one is perfect.
Give yourself the love and support you would give a friend. When we know better, we can do better.
For some of us it takes decades to wake up to our value in this world enough to make bold changes.
Consider this: The Universe, God (or whatever higher power that may resonate with you) is for you – not against you. If you desire an intimate relationship with a healthy, loving and supportive partner it can be yours, but you must give up feelings of unworthiness. Be kind to yourself and commit today to pivoting negative self-talk to positive. Tell yourself that you are worthy of all the best in love and life until you believe it.
If you need help finding your way past self-doubt, frustration and possibly confusion in love then contact me and let’s chat. I know how challenging it can be to move forward by yourself. A coach helped me find my way and now I can help you from my experience and with my life-changing love coaching program. I look forward to hearing from you.
Your biggest fan,
Gayla, Denver Love Coach
P.S. Hope you enjoy my new website. I put a ton of resources here for you. Let me know what you think and if there’s anything else you’d like to see or read about. Much love!