What You REALLY Need to Know about First Dates
What You REALLY Need to Know about First Dates
After writing this blog for many years now, I’ve said and written and learned a ton about what it takes to have a successful first date. AND today I’m going to say something that might be controversial. Read on to find out what it is.
Most heterosexual women I meet, coach or match on a date tell me they want a masculine man. What does this mean? It may mean something different for each woman, but I can tell you it commonly begins with the man taking the lead and asking the woman out for at least the first few dates.
Men, I know it can be scary and not very much fun to be rejected, but as they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I tell women not to ask a man out in the beginning stages of a possible romance. Why? If he wants to step up as a man, then he needs to be willing to take the risk of being rejected. It’s that simple. And If a woman wants to know for sure if a man is attracted to her then the best way to find out is to let him do the pursuing. Men are trained and I think hard-wired to go after what they want.
So wait and see if he is interested enough to ask you out. If not, then someone else will for sure. Why waste time trying to figure out if he likes you. Let him step up in his masculine energy and take the lead. If you want a masculine man then give him this opportunity to show you he is interested and willing to take the risk of rejection.
NOTE: If you would like for me to write more about the masculine/feminine dynamic please let me know, okay?
With that in mind, I thought it might be helpful to put together a few tips about that desired and often nerve- wracking first date. Let me know what you think and if you have anything to add - a personal experience perhaps?
First Date Tips by Gayla Wick, Denver Love Coach
Positive Attitude: This is an opportunity to meet someone you may fall in love with and maybe even marry or spend the rest of your life with. You’ll want to make the very best first impression which will occur in a very short amount of time, as in the first 3 minutes. There are no second chances to make a first impression. No “downer” attitudes allowed. Breathe, relax and enjoy!
Appearance: First impressions begin here. Remember, you haven’t even opened your mouth yet. Dress your best for the date venue. Google the restaurant and be sure to dress accordingly. If you’re not sure about what to wear, ask a fashionable friend or ask me. (Do NOT wear a fishing shirt to a classy restaurant! Yes, someone actually did this.) Dress as though you actually want a second date.
Personal Grooming: It may have been a while since you’ve been on a date. Let’s take a good look in the mirror and get that haircut or whiten those teeth. Nothing is more inviting than a lovely, warm smile. Even if your teeth are not perfect, they’ll look so much better if they are white (not yellow). You’ll feel better about yourself no matter what happens on the date.
Honesty: Don’t fabricate or embellish anything. Be totally honest about everything on all of your dating profiles. Your date will find out anyway when you meet her/him. Liars usually don’t get a second date. Update your photos! This is the first step in being honest. AND no, do not tell them everything about your life on the first date.
Conversation: This is a first date, not a job interview for NASA. Don’t spend any time trashing your ex or any previous relationship. Be kind and just say something like: things did not work out between you and you learned a lot and hope to bring your best self to any new relationship. End of story for now. If you are fortunate enough to end up in a relationship with this person you just met, there will be plenty of time for all the gory details. Your mission is to have a good time and be sure your date does too!
Purpose: Take a few minutes prior to this date to think about your purpose in making yourself available. You now have an opportunity to spend time with this person. This is a special opportunity to enjoy a nice time and find out if there is a possible connection. Have a genuine conversation. This is a gift – don’t squander it.
Stay safe, be kind and believe in love!
Much love and virtual hugs,
Gayla Wick
Denver Love Coach
Gayla, aka the Denver Love Coach is a Love and Dating Coach for women, author speaker and creator of the It's All About You Love Coaching Program. She loves showing single women how to attract the love relationship of their dreams!