After writing this blog for many years now, I’ve said and written and learned a ton about what it takes to have a successful first date. AND today I’m going to sat something that might be controversial. Read on to find out what it is.
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Years ago a friend asked me this question over tea and bagels. When she suggested I stop talking about it and do something about my issue instead, it was hard to hear. What I wanted was commiseration, but what I really needed was a kickstart to make a needed change.
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What on earth am I talking about? Yes, we all have an internal dialog running in our heads all the time about everything. I’m sure you know what I am talking about, but what you may not be too sure of is just how this dialog is affecting your life for REAL or how to manage it to get what you want.
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Everyday I see this at play in my sessions with single coaching clients, matchmaking clients and other hopeful singles looking for love, sometimes desperately. Yet, no one steps up to share the real reason why dating has not been working for their friend or family member. Today, I’m going to tell you the unvarnished truth.
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She was really looking forward to her date with the handsome stranger. He seemed to have so many of the qualities she’d been searching for. They both wanted a genuine loving relationship that would hopefully turn into marriage and a family. They shared a few common interests and certainly a long list of values too - on paper this looked like a promising start.
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Wait a minute - a man not wanting to date a confident woman? This (hopefully) seems like the very opposite of what you’ve read or been told. To that I say yes…. and let me explain. What happens when confidence runs amok?
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You might be thinking to yourself - why wouldn’t a man want to date a smart woman? Of course, enlightened healthy men want to date smart women. Desiring a love relationship that goes beyond a first date is all in the balance of that magical thing we call a love connection.
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Are you behaving more like an interrogator than the lovely, warm person you really are on a first date? I sure hope the answer is no, but if you think you may be doing this let me say, there is hope for you. I’m guessing this was not your intention, or at least I hope you did not intend to come off as an intimidating personality with someone you either just met or don’t know that well.
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Are you behaving more like an interrogator than the lovely, warm person you really are on a first date? I sure hope the answer is no, but if you think you may be doing this let me say, there is hope for you. I’m guessing this was not your intention, or at least I hope you did not intend to come off as an intimidating personality with someone you either just met or don’t know that well.
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Are you behaving more like an interrogator than the lovely, warm person you really are on a first date? I sure hope the answer is no, but if you think you may be doing this let me say, there is hope for you. I’m guessing this was not your intention, or at least I hope you did not intend to come off as an intimidating personality with someone you either just met or don’t know that well.
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I recently started watching a new television series on this very topic. It is a spin-off show from the original series, Married at First Sight, an interesting, but outrageous concept to most of us. (I highly recommend dating before marriage.) Anyway this new show is Married at First Sight - Unmatchables. Dr. Vivianna and Pastor Cal from the original series take 2 people, a male and a female who applied to be married at first sight, but were not chosen due to their unmatchable behaviors.
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I hope you are enjoying my Matchmaker stories and feel my First Date Tips are helpful in avoiding the dreaded First Date Mistakes!
Matchmaker, Matchmaker make me a match from the old musical, Fiddler on the Roof often comes to mind. Sometimes the requests are enough to drive us real life Matchmakers a little crazy! I’m just saying, be mindful about what you are asking us to deliver. Does he really need to be 6 to 12 plus inches taller than you to get a first date?
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Maybe you are receiving lots of messages this time of year or not so much. Here is a short message from me. I’d like to think everyone can take a deep breath, relax and make a personal commitment to being kinder and more loving and understanding of each other.
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Vivian Cobb, Emotional Health Coach and myself, Gayla Wick, Denver Love Coach and Matchmaker have been working together to design something new to help you in this challenging time. Before we make final decisions about what we think might be valuable, we’d like to hear from you.
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After writing this blog for many years now, I’ve said and written and learned a ton about what it takes to have a successful first date. If the first date doesn’t go well , I dare say a second date probably isn’t going to happen.
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Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match and then what? Freak out time or get real about what you’re thinking… what you’re going to say…what type of first impression are you going to make??
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